Good evening, friends!

I had an absolutely terrible day. I set my keys on top of the front-loading washer at the laundromat, cuz they were stabbin' my crotch.. And forgot them. They disappeared. Poof! Gone! Long story short, I never found them. I had to have my car towed home; and since El Tigre rides a motorcycle, I had to have a friend pick up my kid and my laundry. I can only hope that somebody snatched them up by mistake. I also hope they will be returned, post-haste.

So, after I got home, I felt sorry for myself. I cried. I sulked. I lay in bed and played a stupid game on my phone because El Tigre was being a dick about the whole thing. After El Tigre apologized for being pissy, I helped him make the bed, and decided I needed a pick-me-up. I made a cup of tea. But hey, we're out of milk. And since I have no car keys, I can't get my groceries. Sigh.

I have been thinking about going dairy-free for a while. I have my reasons. Maybe I'll blog about that some other time. Anyway, I had some Bob's Red Mill unsweetened coconut flakes, so I decided to make coconut milk! Mmmm coconut milk! I don't have a Vitamix, or a Ninja. I have a crappy $15 blender. Just sayin. I did some research about recipes. I looked around on Pinterest, and decided to kinda wing it. Here it is.

1 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
5 cups HOT (not boiling) water
Sweetener of choice (optional)



I used my tea kettle to heat the water. MUCH faster! I put the coconut in the blender by itself to grind it for about a minute. Then I added 1 cup of the hot water, and some light agave nectar. I blended this for 1 minute. I then added the other 4 cups of water, and blended that for 3 minutes. Boom. Did it two more times so I could make an entire gallon. A gallon?! Yes, a gallon.

You're welcome.

Also, the cat. He wants to rest his furry-ass head on my arm. While I'm typing. Ugh