See the parent, feel the parent, BE the parent!

WARNING!!  This blog post contains A LOT of opinions on parenting. Some of you may not like what I have to say. You have been warned. . .

As some of you may know, I have a 14 year old daughter who has ADHD and Asperger's. We call her T-Rex around here. Until this past May, she lived with her father, step-mother, brother, and step-brother. My son, Li'l C, still lives with his dad. From what I gather, the reason my ex-husband agreed to have T-Rex live here with us is because there was tension between T-Rex and pretty much everyone else in the household. Especially her step-mother. I'm not going to go into details, but I get that there are two sides to every story. 

Moving on. Tonight's post is about parenting. As parents, It is our job to prepare our children for the adult world. We are not raising children, we are raising ADULTS! Every parent should want the same thing for their kids. We should want our kids to be successful; to be good at things. We should be setting them up for that success! It is our responsibility to make sure that, when they graduate high school they have - at the very least - some basic life skills. They should be able to do their own laundry, including reading tags and following instructions. They should know how to COOK! Boil water, measure ingredients, bake a god damn cake! They should also know how to clean a house. And change a tire. And fix a clogged or leaking pipe. As parents, we should be teaching our children how to be self sufficient. In T-Rex's case, this is IMPERATIVE!! She is filled with self doubt. She is terrified of the oven. She sucks at washing dishes. She has to be reminded to eat, and to eat well. 

I am frustrated because I feel like a lot of these things, at least the very basics should have been taught to her before now. I'm not calling anyone out. But, I feel like this is something that all parents need to address. Teach your boys how to cook and clean. Teach your girls how to change a flat tire, and how to do basic home repairs. You are not simply a baby sitter. You're a fucking PARENT! So. . . parent! 

Also, praise your kids when they do right. Even if it is something as simple as getting an answer on their math homework correct on the first try. If they do the dishes or take out the trash without being told, acknowledge that shit! That's why they did it! When you don't pay attention to your kids, they find ways to get your attention, and it's usually in a negative way. 

Wanna know why your son is a fucking hoodlum? Because he's unsupervised! Not saying that you need to be up your kid's ass 24/7, but if they have fucked up more than once, it's YOUR FAULT! You have the power to nip that negative behavior in the bud. You have the power to keep it from happening in the first place! Spend time with your kids. Take them places. Go climb rocks and trees and shit with them. Find a mutual interest! Or, take interest in their interests. If they are reading a book for a class, read the book too. Discuss that shit over dinner. While you're teaching them how to cook or fold laundry, talk to them. Engage them. Let them know that you enjoy their company. If you have a "sullen teen", engage them anyway! Make jokes! Even if they roll their eyes, you know they're listening. By ignoring them, you are letting them know that it is okay to be sullen. Do not allow your teens to be disrespectful. Teach them how to be respectful when they're two years old, and you won't have a(s much of a) problem. 

I'm not trying to tell anyone what they are doing is wrong. I'm definitely not saying that I am a perfect parent.  But I understand that I'm not the only person who has to deal with my kids. I want people to be proud to spend time with my kids. I think it's fucked up when people are surprised by a good kid. Seriously?! 

Furthermore. Stop giving your little one's choices! They eat the food you provide. They go to bed when they're told. They stick to their routine. And sometimes, they cry. Let that shit happen! Life isn't fair for anyone. Parents are in control. Kids are not bosses. Don't forget to have fun, of course, but never forget that you are the damn leader. You are not your kid's best friend. Be the parent, people! And never forget that they're yours for the first 18 years, but the world has to deal with them for the 60 to 70 after that!

And yeah, I get that there are single parents out there, working three jobs to put food on the table. I get that sometimes one parent is unstable, or simply fucking worthless. I get that not everyone lives in optimal settings, so please don't jump up my ass about that shit. Do your best. Teach your kids to do their best. The rest of the world will thank you. 

Blessed be, friends. 

Good evening, friends!

I had an absolutely terrible day. I set my keys on top of the front-loading washer at the laundromat, cuz they were stabbin' my crotch.. And forgot them. They disappeared. Poof! Gone! Long story short, I never found them. I had to have my car towed home; and since El Tigre rides a motorcycle, I had to have a friend pick up my kid and my laundry. I can only hope that somebody snatched them up by mistake. I also hope they will be returned, post-haste.

So, after I got home, I felt sorry for myself. I cried. I sulked. I lay in bed and played a stupid game on my phone because El Tigre was being a dick about the whole thing. After El Tigre apologized for being pissy, I helped him make the bed, and decided I needed a pick-me-up. I made a cup of tea. But hey, we're out of milk. And since I have no car keys, I can't get my groceries. Sigh.

I have been thinking about going dairy-free for a while. I have my reasons. Maybe I'll blog about that some other time. Anyway, I had some Bob's Red Mill unsweetened coconut flakes, so I decided to make coconut milk! Mmmm coconut milk! I don't have a Vitamix, or a Ninja. I have a crappy $15 blender. Just sayin. I did some research about recipes. I looked around on Pinterest, and decided to kinda wing it. Here it is.

1 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
5 cups HOT (not boiling) water
Sweetener of choice (optional)



I used my tea kettle to heat the water. MUCH faster! I put the coconut in the blender by itself to grind it for about a minute. Then I added 1 cup of the hot water, and some light agave nectar. I blended this for 1 minute. I then added the other 4 cups of water, and blended that for 3 minutes. Boom. Did it two more times so I could make an entire gallon. A gallon?! Yes, a gallon.

You're welcome.

Also, the cat. He wants to rest his furry-ass head on my arm. While I'm typing. Ugh

Hello again, friends! Today's post will feature my best friend and fellow admin on the "Makin' The Fat Cry" Facebook page. From now on, she will be known as "The Walkin' Warrior". She came up with the name for this blog. She and I have been on multiple tried and failed fitness journeys together. This time, we have been journeying together for several months.

 Let me start by saying we live 1300 miles apart, but we are in contact everyday. We help each other overcome obstacles, such as potential food binges, the end of difficult workouts, bad food cravings, etc.

A story about The Walkin' Warrior: She is married to "The Frenchman". She has a stepson, "D.J.", who is the same age as my T-Rex. She also has a son; a kindergartner we'll call "P.B." (that's short for peanut butter!). Walkin' Warrior has always battled with weight. She has confessed to being an emotional eater; something we are still working through together. Soon after we graduated high school, her mother passed away suddenly, while on a Mission to Wyoming. Her father died from a massive heart attack while P.B. was still in the womb. To say that Walkin' Warrior had reason to be an emotional eater is an understatement.

Since P.B. was born, Walkin' Warrior has been mostly a stay-at-home mom. She worked for a very short period, post-partum. She tells me that this is when she hit rock bottom. Her weight ballooned to well over 400 lbs. She was miserable. It hurt to do a lot of things, because of the strain on her joints. Suffering from deep depression certainly didn't help. But, my beautiful friend, Walkin' Warrior decided that she couldn't continue living the way she had been for so long.

So, she started walking! On days when the weather is not conducive to walking, she will Zumba in her living room. She has made changes to her diet. If she is struggling to get motivated, she texts me. I respond with shout-y texts telling her that "she has to be her OWN motivation! Lace up your shoes, and get off the couch! That's the hardest part!" She later responds with a time and distance for her walk, and I am proud!

To this day, she has lost roughly 70 pounds! To say that any best friend could ever be more proud would be an outright lie. You see, I have been with my friend through most of her struggles. I may not feel as though I have been as supportive as she tells me I have been, but if she says I have made her feel better, then I will believe her!

I love my Walkin' Warrior. We push each other pretty damn hard! I hope that this blog, and this post will inspire her to continue on her path to fitness. Being co-admin on a fitness page will help, I'm sure!

Good luck, Walkin' Warrior! And good health!

:Love, Jennifer

So, as I'm walking past the yogurt and pudding to get to the eggs, I see rice pudding. Gasp! Rice pudding! Oooh, that sounds good. 

I bought rice and decided to wing it. Lemme just say that the rice pudding I made had me dancing in my kitchen! 

It wasn't all custard-y like the packaged stuff, but if I had let it cook a bit longer, and reduced the milk I probably would have had the consistency right. I made it without sugar, of course, but it was perfect!

+amy beaulieu asked for the "recipe", so here it is!

1 cup cooked brown jasmine rice (or whatever rice you have on-hand)
1/4 cup milk of your choice
1 tbsp butter (or more. Whatever.)
1 tbsp agave nectar (I'm using a light version. Sweet, but doesn't alter flavors)
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes (optional)


Put everything but the rice in a small sauce pan on medium heat. Stir continuously until butter is melted. Add the rice, turn off the heat, and continue to stir until the desired consistency has been reached. Or, if you're like me and you're too impatient, eat that shit IMMEDIATELY!

Enjoy!

Blessed Be

Jennifer

Welcome to Makin' The Fat Cry! Here, you will follow along on my journey to health and fitness. My family will be joining me in many of my endeavors. We're gonna have a good time!

I'm Jennifer. I recently quit smoking. I also recently quit sugar and all processed "white" carbs. I am a Virgo, so I'm a bit of a control freak. I curse. A lot. I'm a Pagan, so there will be references to Goddesses. I'm a mom. I got lucky and got one of the special ones. My daughter, "T-Rex" is living with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. She is a freshman in high school here in Austin, TX. I also have a son "Li'l C", who lives with his father in Virginia. He is in middle school. It's hard to believe I'm the mother of a 14 year old since I'm pretty much a 13 year old on the inside!

I am becoming very passionate about exercise. I enjoy a wide variety of activities. We'll get into that in future posts.

I recently married the baddest dude on the planet! I have known him for 20 years. He remembers when I was a string bean in flannel back in the 90's. We'll call him. . . "Nacho".

Why call it "Makin' The Fat Cry" you ask? That is what we call SWEATIN', my friends! When we make the fat cry, we are workin' on our fitness! Whether we're hiking in the hills, running on the treadmill, lifting in the gym, or doing jump squats and wall balls, as long as you're sweatin' you're gettin' it done!

I am here to tell you stories. Some of them will be funny. Some of them may make you cry. . . Unless you're a soulless monster. . . I'll tell you about my struggles with chronic pain and fatigue. I'll tell you about the funny shit Nacho and T-Rex talk about. I'll tell you about what I cook and EAT. I love to eat! I'll tell you about my adventures in exercise. And I'll tell you about how I stay motivated and inspired.

So, welcome! And let's go make some fat cry, bitches!

Blessed Be

Jennifer